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Tuesday, 20 December 2011

TheABlog - Lets Play Catch Up

Hey apologies for not writing in a while as it turns out i have been in hospital!! I know your all worried but fear not because as it turns out there is absolutely nothing wrong with me..... So they say. After all the time i have spent in hospital i have come to a very big conclusion... are you ready for it.......... I HATE HOSPITALS!!!! THEY SUCK BALLLLS GUYS!! I went in because my stomach was hurting and i dont just mean i had a tummy ache or anything i mean i was in extreme pain. Stayed in there for what seemed like forever and came out feeling awful. So yeah. Cheers for that. Im not gonna moan about doctors and nurses or anything because to be honest i think they do an awesome job 24/7 and i love nurses ;). After i got out of hospital i had a couple check ups at my G.P and it was all very very very very boring but the end result of it all was not finding out what the matter with me was... oh no. The outcome was that i lost my job because of the time off i had to have and the worst bit about it all is my cousin was my boss!!!! I mean seriously have you ever heard of a bigger ass???? So im basically gonna put a few rants on here over the next couple of days of the stuff ive been doing lately so look out for my tweets of my latest entries.

P.S your welcome for the picture guys :D Big Smiles


Merry Christmas

Thursday, 13 October 2011

TheABlog - Apologies and News

Evening followers,

First off let me apologise for being away for so long ive tried to get on but have been extremely busy but now IM BACK!!!!!!

Also a little bit of good news i have a new job!! Thats right ladies and gentleman im a career man now so get your congratulations on :D

Ill post a new rant on soon people dont you worry

Have fun!!

Monday, 15 August 2011

TheABlog - Women and Movies

Women, What a treat!

Love them, absolutely love them all beautiful in their own individual way.
One thing i just do not get though how come where i live they dont look how they look in the movies or on TV.

Especially in American Movies. I mean even the ones who are supposed to be an ugly is in reality fit. I dont understand it.

I tell you one thing if i ever get the chance im moving straight to hollywood because by the looks of it all the women are babes.I should become an actor that way id get to work with them.

Life changing decision there suddenly and the money is great. And you get to work on location most likely in the sun. Yeah thats that decided im going to be an actor.

Just thought i have no idea where to start on becoming a big time actor so yeah maybe i will just rely on you guys to hook me up. Maybe send me on holiday to hollywood as a christmas present. Or you could all just keep reading my posts and make me happy.

Your choice...... No pressure :)

Sunday, 14 August 2011

TheABlog - Red Dwarf

Good Morning Smegheads!!

This post is all about one of my all time favourite TV shows of all time. For those of you who arent aware of what Red Dwarf is its a Sci-Fi/Comedy based in the space ship called Red Dwarf hence the name. Anyway the reason i am posting this is because in 2009 Red Dwarf made a three parter because it loves its fans so much. This three parter must of showed everyone what they were missing out on since Red Dwarf had been off air because i have heard through the grapevine it is making a return to our screens!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The cast is made up of Craig Charles an absolute legend in so many peoples eyes he plays the last human left in the universe. Chris Barrie an impressionist who played the role of an arrogant hologram. Danny John Jules an ex-dancer who scored the role of an evolved Cat with style. Finally Robert llewllyn played Kryten the witty android. All these make it hilarious and absolutely brilliant. I for one will be ready and waiting with my popcorn when it makes its well deserved comeback.

For those of you who still havent watched this show i suggest you do it right now, no messing around get it done.

Smoke me a kipper, Ill be back for breakfast!!

Friday, 12 August 2011

TheABlog - Twitter

Morning peeps ive changed my twitter name so follow me again haha

Im now under


Follow me and ill follow you right back :D

TheABlog - Riots

Morning all,

Lets talk riots.

How fucking stupid is all this. I missed out on work because of these idiots rioting pointlessley.
The people doing thi rioting are basically scruffs. Thats all they are scruffy bastards who live in disgusting flats on disgusting council estates who cant be arsed getting off their scabby arses and getting a job. Thats where i stand on this just a bunch of idiots. And it doesnt stop there. All these idiots are blaming it on the government saying their useless so were all gonna riot..... IDIOTS!! But it all actually started in London when a drug dealer gangster wannabee type guy pulled a gun or didnt pull a gun and was shot. Why riot??!?!?!!!?!?!?!! We are all gonna have to pay for these damages with our taxes. Fuck them all.

The image on the top right is of a shop in Manchester where girls buy some sexy clothes to wear and now the selfish rioters have ruined it for us all!!

At least one good thing came out of this. Enjoy this picture :)

Tuesday, 12 July 2011

The A Blog - Nostradamus

Now now everyone if there's one thing that's really starting to piss me off its this whole 'were all gonna die in 2012'. Wheres the logic with this. Because somebody said it will happen. Well if i say tomorrow i predict family guy will be on TV and then it is on does that mean im a psychic? Or does it mean i guessed?

Please someone explain to me why we are gonna die. Go on. And if we are all going to die in a year then shouldn't we all be out enjoying whats left. I don't see anyone doing that. So maybe nobody actually believes it at heart. Im just saying. But if we do all die in 2012 then i have no problem with everyone telling me i was wrong.

Bare this in mind though. I predict that we wont all die in 2012. The world will not endc in 2012! And if im right then i should be as famous as Nostradamus who started all this.


Wednesday, 6 July 2011

The A Blog - Sleep

Sleep. One of the greatest thing. We all have days when we look forward to it. We all have days when we wanna do it so the next day will come sooner. I seem to be sleeping less and less especially at night. I go to a party which goes on longer than i expected. Well all night for that fact, so when i got in in the morning i went straight to bed and then ended up waking up at night time and so began this vicious circle i am now caught in. Does anyone know how to put this right? My technique is just go with the flow. Seems to be working. This way i get stuff done in peace and quiet. In fact now i think about it im nocturnal! Im awesome even at night! Life is good. In the words of our great Jon Bon Jovi 'Ill sleep when im dead'

Night Night All!........maybe not.

Tuesday, 5 July 2011

TheABlog - Awesome Movies

Right so for the past few weeks ive been staring at my Robocop DVD thinking i should really watch it but really couldn't be bothered. Last night i finally decide to and i must admit i was a fool to put it off so long its a classic guys! Good old 80's action/sci-fi movie. Which got me thinking of all other awesome movies. Now im into a hell of a lot of action films from Rambo to Die Hard. And my DVD collection is also awesome. In fact everything about me is awesome. Im awesome. But the point is there is a list that i had seen posted on the internet of the greatest 101 guy movies. And its completely correct. In fact i own pretty much every DVD on that list so it must be awesome. Movies are great. What would we do without them. Sundays would be pretty dull that's for sure.
Anyway im gonna post the list of DVDs for your pleasure i suggest you go and buy every DVD on this list it will make you one hell of an awesome person. Nearly as awesome as me. Enjoy!

1. Casino Royale (or any other James Bond movie for that matter)
Fast cars, sexy women, sharp suits and high stakes poker. All very manly things which, when combined with the presence of Daniel Craig, make a really great movie.
Best line in the movie: "Now the whole world's gonna know that you died scratching my balls!"
2. Terminator
The Terminator
Originally offered the leading human role in this movie, Arnold Schwarzenegger decided that playing a bad ass robot sent from the future to kill was his destiny. And so he swapped swimming trunks, body lotion and homoerotic poses for a leather jacket, a gun and some black shades.
Best line in the movie: "I'll be back."
3. Die hard
Die Hard
Nothing says hardcore like a hero running around on broken glass in bare feet and smashing through windows on a firehose. Bruce Willis literally wrote the book when it comes to action (we'll forgive his mild indiscretion for playing a dead guy in the Sixth Sense).
Best line in the movie: "Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker!"
4. The Last Boy Scout
The Last Boyscout
When a movie has murder, strippers, sports, crooked politicians and stars Bruce Willis as a washed-up cop - you know it's going to be good! This movie doesn't disappoint. Trust me.
Best line in the movie: "Bad guy: You think you are so fucking cool, don't you? You think you are so fucking cool. But just once, I would like to hear you scream in pain..." Bruce: "Play some rap music. "
5. Top Gun
Top Gun
When the lead character has a butch name like Maverick, it doesn't matter that he's being portrayed by short-arse Tom Cruise. This movie will make you feel the need, the need for speed. Guy's love planes. In particular, planes than can shoot other planes right out of the sky!
Best line in the movie: "And if you screw up just this much, you'll be flying a cargo plane full of rubber dog shit out of Hong Kong!"
6. The Matrix
The Matrix
How many computer hacker nerds wish that they were Neo? Living inside a computer program and able to remake the code anyway they like. With bullet dodging, kung-fu and Trinity in tight leather pants - this movie caters to all tastes! Best line in the movie: "Do not try and bend the spoon. That's impossible. Instead... only try to realize the truth."
7. Back To The Future
Back To The Future
If a time traveling Delorean doesn't get you into a frenzy, then I don't know what will. The BTTF Trilogy still makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up to this day - if only for the amazing soundtrack by Alan Silvestri. Best line in the movie: "Great Scott!!"
8. Scarface
When a Cuban refugee falls for a drug kingpin's girl, you know you have all the hallmarks of an epic gangster flick. If you get attacked by a chainsaw and still live to tell the tale, then you're alright in my book! Best line in the movie: "Say hello to my leetle friend!"
9. The Godfather
Godfather Part 1
Quite possibly the ultimate bloke film ever made. Francis Ford Coppola's masterpiece is an indispensable guide to surviving with honour in a dog eat dog world.
Best line in the movie: "I'm gonna make him an offer he can't refuse."
10. Platoon
A gritty and emotional (I know I said men don't like it too serious but this is a war film, so it's allowed) look at the lives of an American platoon of soldiers as they patrol, fight and die in jungles of Vietnam - seen through the eyes of a rookie recruit.
Best line in the movie: "Free your mind, your ass will follow."
11. Universal Soldier
Universal Soldier
Jean-Claude Van Damme and Dolph Lundgren kill each other in battle, only to brought back as reanimated, near perfect, soldiers. Luc Devreux (Van Damme) starts having flashbacks from his former life and brutal conflict ensues. The only acceptable time for you to turn away while this movie is playing is for the gratuitous Van Damme butt shot (unless you like that kind of thing)!
Best line in the movie: "You're discharged... sarge."
12. The Shining
The Shining
In a nutshell - recovering alcoholic with a volatile temper gets cabin fever and tries to kill his family. To say the film is 'a bit weird' would be the understatement of the century. That said, the movie is a masterpiece and a must see - if only for the iconic horror movie quote:
Best line in the movie: "Heeeere's JOHNNY!"
13. Fight Club
Fight Club
After seeing this film, a million men declared they wanted to change their name to Tyler Durden and go kick the shit out of someone. Anyone! On the surface, the movie is about proving your manliness by punching the other guys lights out, but really it's all about knowing yourself and not relying on personal possessions. I think.
Best line in the movie: "I want you to hit me as hard as you can."
14. Dirty Harry
Dirty Harry
A cop with no regard for the rules (but who always gets the job done) takes on a serial killer targeting random victims. It's very serious stuff folks. Oh, and he has a big gun too.
Best line in the movie: "You've got to ask yourself a question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?"
15. Rocky
Rocky Balboa
The Italian Stallion, Rocky Balboa, is a southpaw fighter out of Philadelphia looking to make it big by taking on the world champ Apollo Creed. The training montages and music are enough to make you wanna lose that beer belly - almost!
Best line in the movie: "ADRIAN!"
16. Full Metal Jacket
Full Metal Jacket
If you ever wondered what it was like to be a U.S Marine - then wonder no more! This movie has more memorable quotes than any other, thanks mostly to the enigmatic Gunnery Sergeant Hartman.
Best line in the movie: "Bullshit. I bet you could suck a golfball through a garden hose."
17. Bullitt
This is the story of an all guts, no glory cop determined to find the underworld kingpin that killed the witness in his protection.
Best line in the movie: "Look, you work your side of the street, and I'll work mine."
18. Enter The Dragon
Enter The Dragon
Martial arts messiah Bruce Lee spies on a reclusive crime lord using his invitation to a tournament there as cover. Fight scenes galore and the unmistakable Bruce Lee 'fight sound' is just fantastic.
Best line in the movie: "Why doesn't somebody pull out a .45 and, bang, settle it?"
19. 48 Hours
48 Hours
Eddie Murphy is the wise-cracking criminal paired with a hard-nosed cop while they try to track down a criminal! All Eddie Murphy has to do is laugh and I'm sold!
Best line in the movie: "I've been in prison for three years. My dick gets hard if the wind blows."
20. Blade
Vampires, techno music and Wesley Snipes slicing people up with a sword. This movie has all the hallmarks of a guy classic - and it doesn't fail to deliver.
Best line in the movie: "Fuck me? No, you fuck this!"
21. Clerks
Two blokes working in a convenience store who spend all day annoying customers, discussing movies and playing hockey on the roof. Typical guy stuff. I thought I'd hate this film, but it turns out that I really liked it.
Best line in the movie: "Clerk: 37! My girlfriend's sucked 37 dicks!" Customer: "In a row?"
22. Highlander
When you watch a film about immortal beings who can only die if someone chops their head off with a sword - you're going to be entertained. Back in the day, this film was awesome. Today,'s still awesome!
Best line in the movie: "You can't drown, you fool, you're immortal!"
23. Braveheart
Exhibitionist Mel Gibson flashes his tackle to his enemies on the battlefield and leads rampant Jocks' to glory. Well, almost. Brilliant and entertaining film.
Best line in the movie: "FREEEEE-DOMMMMMM."
24. Se7en
I used to have a neighbour that weighed a ton, literally. I'm beginning to think that maybe Kevin Spacey had something to do with it. You don't wanna miss the gruesome ending to this movie, folks!
Best line in the movie: "Yeah, a landlord's dream: a paralyzed tenant with no tongue."
25. Saving Private Ryan
Saving Private Ryan
Let's face it, Steven Spielberg knows how to make a movie and this war drama starring Tom Hanks is no exception. A gritty, true to life and emotional portrayal of being behind enemy lines.
Best line in the movie: "It's like finding a needle in a stack of needles."
26. Wild Things
Wild Things
If you'd like to see Neve Campbell and Denise Richards make out, then watch this movie. If you'd like to see Denise Richards get champagne poured over her bare breasts, then watch this movie. If neither of these facts have convinced you to watch Wild Things, Matt Dillon is in it - maybe he's your 'kind of thing'.
Best line in the movie: "Jesus! Where did she get the shoes? "Whores for less"?"
27. Naked Gun
The Naked Gun
Legendary cop Frank Drebin has to foil a plot to assassinate Queen Elizabeth II with hilarious consequences! This is a laugh out loud film - Leslie Nielsen is god!
Best line in the movie: "Wilma, I promise you; whatever scum did this, not one man on this force will rest one minute until he's behind bars. Now, let's grab a bite to eat."
28. A Few Good Men
A Few Good Men
Short-arse Cruise stars as a military lawyer defending U.S. Marines accused of murder. Once Jack Nicholson gets into the box - the shit really hits the fan!
Best line in the movie: "You can't handle the truth."
29. Predator
I think I'd fancy Schwarzenegger (in his prime) to take on the Predator and win in real life. He's badass! Here, he leads a team of commandos into a jungle, only to encounter an extra-terrestrial warrior!
Best line in the movie: "If it bleeds, we can kill it."
30. Beverly Hills Cop
Beverly Hills Cop
Eddie's laugh is reason enough for this movie to be in the list in addition to 48 Hours. Axel Foley will have you crying with laughter and this movie will have you on the edge of your seat too!
Best line in the movie: "Get the fuck out of here!" Buy Beverly Hills Cop Now
31. Ocean's Eleven
Ocean?s 11
George Clooney and the gang plot to rob three Las Vegas casinos simultaneously. Slick, smart and funny movie with a great ending.
Best line in the movie: "Ten oughta do it, don't you think? You think we need one more? You think we need one more. All right, we'll get one more."
32. Porky's
Classic 80's comedy about a bunch of high school kids looking to get laid for the first time! The movie is packed with practical jokes and eccentric characters, like Pee Wee with the short dick (which he measures every morning) who met up for sex with the school "mattress" Wendy already wearing a rubber, or the fat teaching bitch Beulah Balbricker who is determined on making life a living hell for the boys.
Best line in the movie: "This has gotta be the biggest beaver shoot in the history of Florida."
33. American Pie
American Pie
Another classic comedy in a similar vein to Porky's. Now, call me crazy, but I've never once had the urge to stick my wang in an apple pie! To each their own, I guess.
Best line in the movie: "I never did it with baked goods, but you know your uncle Mort, he pets the one-eyed snake 5-6 times a day."
34. Dog Day Afternoon
Dog Day Afternoon
The robbery should have taken 10 minutes. 4 hours later, the bank was like a circus sideshow. 8 hours later, it was the hottest thing on live T.V. 12 hours later, it was all history. Pacino's best work, short of Scarface and Godfather Part II.
Best line in the movie: "They keep sayin' TWO homosexuals. I am not a homosexual. I want you to stop them saying that. Stop."
35. Swordfish
Travolta owns in this film. The opening speech is just brilliant and sets the mood for the rest of the movie. Extremely predictable twist, but you do get to see Halle Berry's breasts in all their glory.
Best line in the movie: "You know what the problem with Hollywood is? They make shit."
36. Ferris Buellers Day Off
Ferris Bueller?s Day Off
This movie practically shaped my teenage years. Faking illness to get out of school became an art form for millions after Ferris Bueller taught us the way. Also, the film inspired a bunch of no-hopers to create a new rock band, called Save Ferris. They are quite successful. More recently, people have hilariously started to point out the huge number of laws that Ferris and friends broke in the movie.
Best line in the movie: "Incredible! One of the worst performances of my career and they never doubted it for a second. "
37. Ronin
Robert "Are You Talkin' To Me?" De Niro stars in this action packed movie about a group of outcast specialists whose services are available to everyone - for a price. So, are you talking to me?
Best line in the movie: "You got the gun. I'm unarmed. Do something. Go ahead. Do something. DO SOMETHING."
38. Taxi
Whenever I get a taxi, they always seem to take friggin' ages to get me where I need to go because I'm on the meter! Not pizza delivery boy Daniel, though. If cruising around in a souped up Peugeot 406 taxi is your cup of tea, this movie has what you need. Who knew the French could make a decent film, eh?
Best line in the movie: "Let me ask you a question: Do your interrogations always end up like this, or are you just trying to impress me?"
39. Taxi Driver
Taxi Driver
A mentally unstable war vet with an urge to violently lash out works as a night time taxi driver attempting to save a teenage prostitute in the process!
Best line in the movie: "You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me?"
40. Wayne's World
Wayne?s World
Wayne and Garth are two slackers with their own TV show which results in hilarious consequences. Oh, and Cassandra is hot too. Party time. Excellent!
Best line in the movie: "All I have to say about that is 'asphinctersayswhat'?"
41. Dumb and Dumber
Dumb And Dumber
This film is basically about two stupid blokes trying to find some chick called Mary Samsonite. Some brilliant one-liners and quotes and some fantastic faces pulled by rubber faced comic Jim Carrey.
Best line in the movie: "You wanna hear the most annoying sound in the world?? EHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
42. Snatch
Snazzy gangster flick written and directed by Guy Ritchie. Jason Statham is great, as is Brad Pitt - when you can understand what the hell he's saying, of course. When you combine boxing, violent bookies, a russian gangster, incompetent robbers and supposedly Jewish jewelers all fighting to track down a diamond, you know you're watching a good flick.
Best line in the movie: "Good dags. D'ya like dags?"
43. Pulp Fiction
Pulp Fiction
An all-star cast brought together by Quentin Tarantino intertwines four tales of violence and redemption featuring two mob hitmen, a boxer, a gangsters wife and a pair of diner bandits. Oh, and the most awesome wallet ever made!
Best line in the movie: "And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers."
44. XXX
A tattooed adrenaline junkie gets recruited by the government to be a secret agent. I'm sure that happens everyday. Anyway, he has to save the world or something like that. I was too busy enjoying the high octane thrills and attractive women. Sue me.
Best line in the movie: "You have a bazooka, why don't you blow some shit up? Stop thinking Prague police and start thinking Sony Playstation!"
45. Rambo
Hey, another movie about an unstable Vietnam war vet who goes crazy! John Rambo is as badass as they come. And remember, they drew first blood. Not him. Unbelievably, Stallone is now in his 60's and yet he still managed to knock another Rambo movie out!
Best line in the movie: "They drew first blood, not me."
46. Indiana Jones
Indiana Jones
Archaeologist Indiana Jones confronts snakes, Nazis, and goes from one astonishing cliff hanger to the next in this awesome adventure movie.
Best line in the movie: "Give me the whip."
47. Speed
Keanu Reeves has to save a bus full of passengers from certain death when some crazy guy (probably a Vietnam war vet) puts a bomb on it that becomes active at 50mph and explodes if it goes below 50mph. Gritty drama ensues and there is also Sandra Bullock to provide some eye candy!
Best line in the movie: "NO! Poor people are crazy, Jack. I'm eccentric."
48. Jet Li's The One
Jet Li?s The One
Imagine, if you will, that you existed in multiple alternative universes. If you could get stronger with each alternative self you kill, would you do it? That's this film in a nutshell. Jet Li has to stop himself from killing....himself. It's awesome! Best line in the movie: "I am Yulaw! I am nobody's bitch! You are mine."
49. True Lies
True Lies
Action-comedy starring Arnie as the secret agent who uses his intelligence resources to pursue his cheating Mrs. The film features a young (and now rather sexy) Eliza Dushku.
Best line in the movie: "Kids - 10 seconds of joy, 30 years of misery."
50. Lethal Weapon
Lethal Weapon
It doesn't matter which Lethal Weapon movie you see. Riggs and Murtaugh are cops looking to prevent crime wherever they go. Plenty of witty lines and action and, if I remember correctly, you get to see bare breasts courtesy of Patsy Kensit in Lethal Weapon 2.
Best line in the movie: "Your baby is having my baby. And your baby, woah baby!"
51. The Empire Strikes Back
The Empire Strikes Back
Luke Skywalker takes some advanced Jedi training from the short green bloke. Talks weird, he does. While that's going on Darth Vader is after Luke's friends as part of a plan to capture Lukey-boy.
Best line in the movie: "No. *I* am your father."
52. Fast And The Furious
The Fast And The Furious
An undercover cop, a gang of thieves, fast cars and loose women is a combination for greatness. Combine that with Vin Diesel's muscular performance, and you've got a classic guy film. The only down side, of course, is that Paul Walker is the star when he clearly cannot act. At all.
Best line in the movie: "I live my life a quarter mile at a time. Nothing else matters."
53. Anchorman - The Legend Of Ron Burgundy
Ron Burgundy Anchorman
Hilarious portrayal of a cocky news anchor by comedy legend, Will Ferrell. Every quote in this film makes me laugh and I find myself reciting them weeks later!
Best line in the movie: "Yeah, there were horses, and a man on fire, and I killed a guy with a trident."

54. Gladiator
A proper man's man film about a Roman gladiator. It doesn't get much more manly than that. The battle for power between the hero and the evil Emperor leads to a final battle - to the death!
Best line in the movie: "My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next."
55. The Bourne Identity/Supremacy/Ultimatum
Jason Bourne
Who would have thought Matt Damon had it in him to become a badass? Not I! With car chases (and crashes), awesome fight sequences, some love scenes and some death scenes, The Bourne series is an adrenaline fuelled mammoth of manly enjoyment.
Best line in the movie: "I swear to God, if I even feel somebody behind me, there is no measure to how fast and how hard I will bring this fight to your doorstep."
56. Conan The Barbarian
Conan The Barbarian
Big Arnie grows from a boy to a man in this loin-cloth wearing epic movie as he fights to avenge the massacre of his tribe. I'm pretty sure Arnold's breasts aren't the only ones on show in this movie - so it's a definite watch!
Best line in the movie: "To crush your enemies, to see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women."
57. Point Break
Point Break
One of my all time favourite movies. FBI agent Johnny Utah goes undercover with some surfer dudes to foil a bank robbery gang headed up by Dirty Dancing dude Patrick Swayze. Adrenaline fuelled adventure and some nudity courtesy of that broad who starred in Tank Girl.
Best line in the movie: "Listen you snot-nose little shit, I was takin' shrapnel in Khe Sanh when you were crappin' in your hands and rubbin' it on your face."
58. Superbad
This film will have you laughing from start to finish without a doubt. Seth and Evan are looking to score before heading off to different colleges and a string of hilarious events seem to be preventing them from doing the deed. I'm laughing just thinking about this movie!
Best line in the movie: "You know when you hear girls say 'Ah man, I was so shit-faced last night, I shouldn't have fucked that guy?' We could be that mistake!"
59. Mean Machine
Mean Machine
A former footballing legend goes to prison and has to train up a team of con's to play football against the prison guards. The genre has been done before with The Longest Yard, but this film is about proper football which instantly makes it better than any Yank movie. Best parts for me are Jason Statham as the psycho goalie, and Danny Dyer as the idiot who gets picked on constantly!
Best line in the movie: Bob: "He must be ambidextrous, Bob." Bob: "I don't know about that, Bob. But he certainly can use both feet."
60. Gone In 60 Seconds
Gone In 60 Seconds
There isn't much more manly (and completely illegal, kids) than stealing cars. Now if you ever get into the position to steal a car while getting friendly with Angelina Jolie - I'd advise you to take your opportunity!
Best line in the movie: "Having sex or boosting cars... Um, oo! Uh. How about having sex WHILE boosting cars?"
61. Barb Wire (the opening sequence only)
Barb Wire
This movie is on the list for one reason and one reason only (okay, you got me, there are two big reasons). Pamela Anderson's breasts. Watch the opening sequence with intensity and then watch something else. The film is terrible. Her breasts are not.
Best line in the movie: "Don't call me babe."
62. Road House
Road House
Awesome movie starring Swayze as a bouncer hired to sort out a rough bar. Things get heated with the local bad guy and you can guess the rest. The kicker for me was when Swayze ripped a guys throat out. Literally.
Best line in the movie: "I want you to be nice until it's time to not be nice."
63. Cocktail
In a nutshell, this film is about Tom Cruise flinging bottles of vodka and stuff up in the air and catching it. Don't try it at home though, it's not as easy as it looks. After getting through $200 worth of Smirnoff bottles, I should know! Best line in the movie: "You wait till you've given them crabs. Then you'll really know hatred."
64. Outlaw
If you're from England you'll understand the pure hatred of the chav culture and how these vultures of society literally get away with murder. This movie is about a bunch of blokes who decide to take the law into their own hands - something I wish I could do almost daily.
Best line in the movie: "I'm talking about legitimate targets. I'm talking about people that hurt you. I'm talking about fucking violence."
65. Shaun Of The Dead
Shaun Of The Dead
A rom-zom-com from the inspired mind of Simon Pegg. This is a story of a man who decided to change his life by winning back his ex, sorting out his relationship with his mum and step-dad and trying to deal with a community of living dead zombies!
Best line in the movie: "Who died and made you fucking king of the zombies? "
66. Hot Fuzz
Hot Fuzz
Another fantastic Pegg/Frost double team which sees two cops trying to make sense out of a series of suspicious accidents in a tiny village in the middle of nowhere!
Best line in the movie: "Is it true that there's a point on a man's head where if you shoot it, it will blow up?"
67. Bad Boys (1 and 2)
Bad Boys
What can you say about Bad Boys? Action-packed with slices of comedy genius! Proper manly movie with plenty to keep you entertained from start to finish.
Best line in the movie: "We ride together, we die together. Bad boys for life."
68. Ali
Will Smith packed on the pounds to play Cassius Clay aka Muhammad Ali in this biography about the boxing legend. Motormouth Smith is the perfect guy, in my opinion, to play the outspoken sportsman!
Best line in the movie: "Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee. His hands can't hit what his eyes can't see."
69. Hackers
Another movie for the geeks out there! Jonny Lee Miller makes being a hacker quite cool. Remember all those e-mail addresses and screen names back when this movie came out? Zero Cool and Crash Override etc. This movie is worth it for the simple fact that Angelina Jolie whips her kit off!
Best line in the movie: "God gave men brains larger than dogs' so they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties."
70. Commando
Retired elite commando Big Arnie has to find and rescue his daughter from an exiled dictator in only a few hours! Sound thrilling? It is. One of my all-time favourite movies, bar none.
Best line in the movie: "Let off some steam, Bennett."
71. Cliffhanger
A mid-air heist goes wrong, leaving suitcases full of money scattered over the Rocky Mountains. Former rescue climber Gabe Walker attempts a rescue on the mountain, not knowing that the people he's helping are actually the very criminals who stole the money!
Best line in the movie: "I must say, you're a real piece of shit."
72. Under Siege
Under Siege
Former Navy Seal Steven Seagal stars as the chef on a US Navy battleship which is taken over by some very bad people. Obviously, in true Seagal style, he proceeds to eliminate them in an attempt to save the day. Worthy of note is the stripper with the large jugs who helps him out.
Best line in the movie: "I'm just a cook."
73. Old School
Old School
Luke Wilson, Vince Vaughn and Will Ferrell are three middle-aged men looking to recapture their youth by starting their own fraternity. As the movie strapline says; all the fun of college, none of the education.
Best line in the movie: "You tell anyone about this and I'll fucking kill you. I'm kidding, I'm kidding, we'll have him home by midnight."
74. Unforgiven
A retired gunslinger from the Old West takes on one last job when a bounty is put on a gang of cowboys who murdered a prostitute. An amazing portrayal of the fine line between being a hero and being a villain. The fact this film won 4 Oscars proves it's worth the watch!
Best line in the movie: "It's a hell of a thing, killing a man. Take away all he's got and all he's ever gonna have."
75. Young Guns
Young Guns
A group of young gunmen lead by Billy the Kid become deputies to avenge the murder of the rancher who became their benefactor. But when Billy takes their authority too far, they become the hunted.
Best line in the movie: "You know, Sir, I do admire you, and I sure would like to touch the gun that's gonna kill Billy the Kid."
76. Con Air
Con Air
A recently released ex-con and former US Ranger gets himself trapped in a prisoner transport plane when the other criminals seize control.
Best line in the movie: "Put... the bunny... back... in the box. "
77. 51st State
51st State
A kilt-wearing Yank turns up in England to finalise a drug deal with some very bad men. A great film with some brilliant performances from Big Samuel L. Jackson and Robert Carlyle.
Best line in the movie: "You can still go to France, mate, it's not too far, it's full of pricks and they hate fucking yanks as well! "
78. American History X
America History X
A neo-Nazi is sent to prison for murdering two black guys - and once inside he befriends a black man who makes him realise the error of his ways. Will he be able to save his young brother from following the same path before it's too late?
Best line in the movie: "I said: Put your mouth on the curb!"
79. Unleashed
Jet Li Unleashed
Jet Li is raised into behaving like a dog. When the collar comes off, he is unleashed and destroys anyone who gets in his way! When he eventually gets free of fatty Bob Hoskins and his gang, they come looking for their secret weapon.
Best line in the movie: "Like my saint of a mum used to say: Get 'em young enough and the possibilities are endless."
80. Face/Off
Face Off
I love Travolta playing the bad guy - he does it so well! Good and evil swap faces in this flick with both Travolta and Cage delivering sterling performances. Keep your eyes peeled for a young Dominique Swain before she..err..matured!
Best line in the movie: "Well, I've gotta go. I've got a government job to abuse, and a lonely wife to fuck."
81. Death Sentence
Death Sentence
Imagine seeing your son murdered in front of you by a gang member looking for acceptance. What would you do? If you said shave your head, buy a shot gun and hunt down the people that killed him - then this movie is for you!
Best line in the movie: "Look at you. You look like one of us. Look what I made you become."
82. Broken Arrow
Broken Arrow
Another movie with Travolta as the bad guy! This time he's stealing nuclear warheads from the US Military and Christian Slater is the only bloke that can stop him!
Best line in the movie: "I say god-damn what a rush!"
83. Batman Begins
Batman Begins
This is a much darker portrayal of Batman and how Bruce Wayne came to find his alter-ego. Christian Bale is an awesome actor and plays the role fantastically. What's amazing is how buff he looks considering just 6 months earlier he was playing a dangerously thin looking guy in The Machinist.
Best line in the movie: "It's not who I am underneath, but what I *do* that defines me."
84. Payback
Mel Gibson gets shot and left to die by his wife and best friend! Luckily, he survives and plots his payback against the two for betraying him. Awesome film!
Best line in the movie: "Not many people know what their life's worth is. I do. Seventy grand. That's what they took from me. And that's what I was going to get back."
85. American Psycho
American Psycho
I love this movie! Patrick Bateman is an investment banker with some seriously psychopathic problems! Every line in the movie is quoteworthy and I'd go as far as to say this is in my top 5 movies of all time!
Best line in the movie: "There is an idea of a Patrick Bateman; some kind of abstraction. But there is no real me: only an entity, something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable... I simply am not there."
86. 300
A small Spartan army of 300 men led by King Leonidas leave to fight the Persians at Thermopylae in 480 B.C. Awesome fight scenes and effects and the King is played so well by Gerard Butler than men the world over wanted to look as butch and manly as he does (then he went and ruined it all by doing P.S. I Love You)!
Best line in the movie: "Spartans! Ready your breakfast and eat hearty... For tonight, we dine in hell!
87. Sin City
Sin City
A film with an all-star cast that explores the dark and miserable town Basin City and tells the story of three different people, all caught up in the violent corruption of the city. When a film is based on the graphic novels of Frank Miller, you know it's going to be good. The highlight for me is Jessica Alba writhing up and down a pole. The film is really great too, though!
Best line in the movie: "I love hitmen. No matter what you do to them, you don't feel bad."
88. Lucky Number Slevin
Lucky Number Slevin
A slick gangster flick about a chap called Slevin who gets mistaken for his friend who owes money to two powerful crime bosses. Unlucky, I hear you cry! He must pay his friends debt and with many twists and turns along the way, it's one hell of a movie.
Best line in the movie: "I suppose I don't need to say anything as trite and cliched as 'go to the police and you're a dead man'."
89. Kickboxer
Van Damme watches his brother get paralysed for life after fighting a vicious Muay Thai fighter Tong Po. He is (supposedly) a non-fighter at the start of the movie and must learn to kick down palm trees and have coconuts dropped on his stomach from great heights to beat Tong Po in a revenge fight. Really manly stuff, I'm sure you'll agree!
Best line in the movie: "Just listen. With your mind, your heart, your whole being."
90. The Wedding Crashers
The Wedding Crashers
I've always wanted to crash a wedding and live it up like Vince and Owen! Somehow, I don't think it would work in real life. Nevertheless, this movie is great and there is some fabulous gratuitous boobage at the beginning to get the party started!
Best line in the movie: "Janice, I apologize to you if I don't seem real eager to jump into a forced awkward intimate situation that people like to call dating. I don't like the feeling. You're sitting there, you're wondering do I have food on my face, am I eating, am I talking too much, are they talking enough, am I interested I'm not really interested, should I play like I'm interested but I'm not that interested but I think she might be interested but do I want to be interested but now she's not interested? So all of the sudden I'm getting, I'm starting to get interested... And when am I supposed to kiss her? Do I have to wait for the door cause then it's awkward, it's like well goodnight. Do you do like that ass-out hug? Where you like, you hug each other like this and your ass sticks out cause you're trying not to get too close or do you just go right in and kiss them on the lips or don't kiss them at all? It's very difficult trying to read the situation. And all the while you're just really wondering are we gonna get hopped up enough to make some bad decisions? Perhaps play a little game called "just the tip". Just for a second, just to see how it feels. Or, ouch, ouch you're on my hair."
91. Black Hawk Down
Black Hawk Down
A group of elite U.S. soldiers drop into Somalia to capture two top lieutenants of a renegade warlord and find themselves engaging in battle with a large force of heavily-armed Somalis. This is a war film at it's best, gents!
Best line in the movie: "Nobody asks to be a hero, it just sometimes turns out that way."
92. Shanghai Knights
Shanghai Knights
Bit of an odd one, this movie. Sometimes we men just need to laugh and have some wholesome entertainment. Jackie Chan gives us the action, and Owen Wilson gives us the laughs. It's a perfect combination.
Best line in the movie: "Easy fellas, you lost one war this way, don't make the same mistake twice. "
93. Enemy At The Gates
Enemy At The Gate
Any guy who has ever played Call Of Duty will have heard about the Battle of Stalingrad. In this flick, legendary sniper Vassili Zaitsev plays a game of cat and mouse with a German sniper during said Battle of Stalingrad.
Best line in the movie: "You've promised people a victory I can't deliver. I don't stand a chance against this man."
94. Mission Impossible
Mission Impossible
Ethan Hunt gets set up on a mission and must go on the run from the authorities while attempting to find out who the real spy is and clear his name! Explosions, disguises and double crossing ensues before we find out who was behind the whole damn thing!
Best line in the movie: "Kittridge, you've never seen me very upset."
95. Hostel
Okay, okay. So it wasn't the best movie I ever saw, however it is quite gory and any guy thinking of traveling the world for any length of time should watch this film before they book into that hostel in Slovakia!
Best line in the movie: "I hope bestiality is legal in Amsterdam, because that girl's a fuckin' hog."
96. Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels
Lock, Stock And Two Smoking Barrels
Four jack-the-lads pool together to fund a high stakes poker game, but end up owing half a million quid with just one week to come up with the cash. What do they do? Come up with a plan to nick the money from their next door neighbours: a gang of hardcase drug dealers.
Best line in the movie: "We grow copious amounts of ganja here, and you're carrying a wasted girl and a bag of fertilizer. You don't look like your average horti-fucking-culturalist."
97. Transporter
The Transporter
His job is to deliver the package; no questions asked. Curiousity killed the cat, as they say, and so he opened (and subsequently had sex with) the package. The naughty boy.
Best line in the movie: "You're always complaining, except when we make love. Then you say nothing. "
98. Crank
Another adrenaline fulled action-fest starring Jason Statham. This time he's a drug dealer by the name of Chev who has been injected with a poison that will kill him if his heart rate drops. Sex, drugs, violence and electric shock treatment are the only things keeping him alive long enough to find out who's behind it and seek his revenge before the poison kills him. It's a bloke movie! He also has sex with Amy Smart right in the middle of the street. Something I'm sure a lot of guys would love to do!
Best line in the movie: "Yea, yeah, you're gonna rape my grandmother, then you're gonna do her in, blah, blah, fucking blah!"
99. Blow
Johnny Depp stars in a true story about the drug dealer George Jung who established the American cocaine market in the 70's.
Best line in the movie: "Danbury wasn't a prison, it was a crime school. I went in with a Bachelor of marijuana, came out with a Doctorate of cocaine."
100. The Money Train
The Money Train
Wesley Snipes and Woody Harrelson team up in a plot to rob a train carrying a great deal of money to pay off Woody's gambling debts with some very bad people! Look out for Jennifer Lopez getting all naked and sweaty too!
Best line in the movie: John: "No, you ain't gonna hit him." Charlie: "Why not?" John: "Because I'm gonna hit him!"
And finally, in at number 101 as a bonus extra to the list, in tribute to the late Heath Ledger:
101. A Knight's Tale
A Knight?s Tale
We've all dreamt about being a knight like Sir Lancelot, haven't we? In this movie, after his master dies, Heath creates a new identity for himself as a knight (and falls in love with a pretty tasty female too). It's not your typical bloke movie, but it's entertaining and they get to knock people off a horse with a giant pole - which looks like a hell of a lot of fun to do!
Best line in the movie: "Better a silly girl with a flower than a silly boy with a horse and a stick. "